First Trans Support meeting

What a fantastic day! It started off like any other Saturday but with a twist. You see, our AFAB (assigned female at birth) son came out to us (finally) about 6 months ago. I say finally because his dad and I already knew. We have seen the signs for years! We just wanted him to come out on his own. He always had our support. We have told him many times that we do not care if he is a girl, boy, lesbian, bi sexual or a Unicorn!! We would love him no matter what.

He decided a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to come out publicly. His words to me where “I want to be called him from now on. I have always felt like I should have been a boy. I want to be addressed as a boy from now on. My new name is Alex.” We said ok, no problem, Alex it is! He told me to make a post on Facebook to announce it. That way “when I go places people will call me Alex.” Here is what I posted.

Please read it all!!
My kid!
My kid is
Loving
Caring
Kind hearted
Talented
Empathetic
Giving
Sincere
Funny
Adorable
Smart
Supportive
Trans
If the last one made you forget about all the other qualities, then the problem is with you, not them. His heart and character hasn’t changed, it’s still huge❣
From here on I will always refer to my kid as Alex and him
No, I not outting Alex. This has been a long private journey till now. He knows I’m posting this and I have his blessing to do so. I would never out someone.
Love is love and people are people. The only thing we should judge people on is their character, not their gender, who or how they love or their race.
Now, you as my friends/family, you have a few choices.
You can be supportive and positive
You can feel free to reach out to me or Mike for some healthy dialog and to ask questions to educate, but not to hate. Or……….
You can click on my profile page and the hit the unfriend button.
Whatever you choose I’m ok with but i will not allow any hate or ugliness to be posted on my page about Alex or anyone else who lives their lives differently than you live yours. This is our journey and I will do whatever as Alex’s mother to make it and keep it positive.
Remember, you can be the light they run to or the darkness they run from.
Life is great and we are all truly blessed.
Hope this helped ❤️
Thank you to all of those who knew and have been their for us with support! We love you!!

The response was incredible! So many people celebrating him and letting him know that it is fantastic that he is doin what he feels is best for HIM! It is HIS life, HIS mind and HIS body after all. We needed more though. He needed to know he wasn’t alone in this new scary world. So, I did what every mother out there would have done! Found him a safe space. A group like him. AND WE DID!!

Saturday was the big day! The day to go and meet these people who share so much in common with my child. I was nervous. Not because I thought there would be a issue but I was nervous to hear others stories. What would they say? How will my son react? Will he open up and make friends?

Saturday finally came. He asked multiple times when we would leave for the meeting. He asked if he looked ok and if he should he change his shirt. I told him to just go how he felt comfortable. Jeans and his new t shirt that said “I’m sorry, did I offend you?” But, before we could go, we had to drop his Sister at a friends house because I wasn’t sure if younger siblings could attend. Plus the first one I really wanted it to just be about Alex. His dad also needed to be dropped off at work. He works nights in a shop as a welder. My husband was kinda jealous that we got to go and he had to work!

We drop off his sister and his dad and you could see the excitement growing. It was finally time to go! We make our way to the location of the meeting. The closer we got the higher up he sat. The more he looked around. We pulled in the parking lot, parked the car and that’s when it hit him. The nerves. He was starting to get so nervous. You see, he has never really been a people person. It is one of the things we talk about with his counselor. He sometimes has a hard time opening up to people. I told him to relax, no one will judge you here, you are among friends here.

We walked in to a packed office. There was so many people there. I was in aww and I think he was too. We find a seat and wait to start. Everyone was asking if we were ok, introducing themselves, asked our pronouns. He would not talk yet still, for the first time in a very long time around people, was smiling. Looking down BUT SMILING!!

Now it was time to really start this meeting. They went around the room and said their names and preferred pronouns. It was his turn to talk. He had his head down yet still smiling and let out this tiny sound, his name. They all said HEY!!! What would you like us to call you? Him? Her? They? He said, him or his. OMG OMG OMG!!! HE talked!! It was a small yet HUGE victory already! They then made some announcements and said it was time to go to our separate rooms.

They separate into 3 different rooms. One for adult trans, one for the teens, and then one for the parents. I followed him into the Teen room and he sat in the corner and was playing on his phone. I told him no, he needed to put his phone up and actually talk to them. I then walked out of the room and went to the parents room.

I sat in a room with 6 other parents. They all talked about how this was a surprise to them and how they never seen any signs. They talked about their child’s depression and suicidal thoughts. How hard it was to finally come to terms with this but since they did they have seen drastic changes in their child. I felt them on the depression part and seeing my child make drastic steps in improvement. I won’t lie though. I felt a little out of place myself.

Like I said earlier, we seen signs of this. I have talked to my husband and some friends about this. I just knew that this was eventually going to come up. I was still very excited and happy that I even found people that understand this now. It may have taken them a little longer to get to that point but they are there now. Now the meeting is ending and it is time to see how it went.

As I walk out the door talking with a Dr. I see my son with the BIGGEST grin. Talking to other trans teens and helping clean up. My heart felt so full and so happy for him. For he has finally realized that he is not alone in this journey. He was never alone but now he sees people that are like him. You can see it written all over his face, the excitement.

We walk out the door after saying our goodbyes and he said “mom, that was a lot of fun! Thanks for bringing me. I wish they would do that more often.” I said “son, do you want to go back next month? They have these meetings every month!” He was thrilled. He said “omg yes please!! They were just like me. They were born in the wrong body too”

On the way home I had another surprise for him. His chest binder came in. We stopped at the mailbox to get it and his eyes lit up! He ripped open the package like it was Christmas but even on Christmas he was never THIS excited. If you do not know what a chest binder is, it is like a really tight top that gives the appearance of a flat chest. He was ready to change in the car on the way home. I told him to wait until we got to our house to put it on, we had to get his sister first.

We pull up at my friends house to get his sister and he jumps out the car and asked my friend if he could put it on there. Of course they said yes. He was in there for so long. I was worried. Did it not fit? Does he not like it? I yell from the other room if everything was ok. As I was fixing to open the door he throws open the door and said “look mom, no more boobs!!! I have a manly chest now!! Finally”

The rest of the night he wore his chest binder. He had the biggest smile on his face and you could tell he was finally ok being in his own skin. Tomorrow is another big day for him. His first appointment with the Gender Identity Doctor in Houston.

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