So, Alex has been sick. Nose running, slight fever, sore throat. That kind of sick. After dealing with it for a few days now, we finally decided to take him to one of those 247 emergency clinics that are everywhere now. You know the ones where you can get in and out in under an hour. We figured it was probably just a cold but wanted to be sure.
We walk in and everything seems to be going good so far. There was no one else in the lobby at all and the lady at the front said there was only one other patient and they are almost done so it won’t take long. I fill out the forms and we seat down and wait. This is when the problems came in. On the form I put Alex’s birth name for insurance purposes but added his preferred name. The lady at the front desk trying to be nice, smiled and asked why his preferred name was Alex. I explained that he is transgender female to male. Her eyes got huge and her face changed. It was all nice and happy. Then it was a look of disgust. My stomach began to go into knots. Thankfully Alex was sitting with his dad and sister. I did not say a word. I just smiled, turned around and went to sit down. There was no reason to say anything else because we were just there for a cold. Nothing more.
At this point After I went back and sat down, the lady got up and talked with another staff member and they kept looking at us and whispering. The other patient walked out about this time and left the building. We waited another 10 minutes before the door swings open and calls out Alex’s birth name. Ok, no “big” deal. Alex just rolled his eyes and we all went in. They then brought him over to take his blood pressure, temperature, weight and height. The nurse, while getting his weight asked why his “preferred name” (with sarcasm) was a “boys name”. Alex responded with “I am transgender. I go by Alex and he/him”. Her eyes got big, turned to look at me and said with sarcasm “OH, WOW! Great parenting mom! That is disgusting! You deserve to loose your children. This is an abomination!” Then turns to my son and says “you better get right with god or you will go to hell! Do you want to go to hell?”
What happened next though was something I really did not think we would have to go through, especially since we were just there for a common cold. The nurse gets up and walks away. She goes to her co – worker and VERY LOUDLY says “YOU are going to have to DEAL with that crap in there! I refuse to help HER. I can’t, SHE goes against my faith and my god does not approve of that lifestyle”. About 5 minutes later, still not in a room, just sitting in the hall holding Alex while he cries and his father and I are fuming.
As my husband and I are looking up another place to take him the other nurse finally shows back up and apologize profusely. I tell them that I get that everyone has their own beliefs but to treat a human being like that is horrible. I won’t tolerate it at all! She said “I know, I am so sorry! Let me make it right, please!” We decide to stay! We were already almost done, let’s just get the antibiotics and go about our day.
The nurse then brings us in to a room and tells Alex to change into a robe. He does after a lot of talking and we wait another 10 minutes for the doctor to walk in. When he comes into the room he says that he will not see Alex. His “spiritual oath with the lord is more important to him then his medical oath and you will need to go somewhere else where HER PEOPLE WILL TREAT HER!”
ARE YOU MAD YET? ARE YOU AS MAD AS I AM! You all know my child. You all have seen him grow up. You have all seen his progress since this transition. You have seen the positive change that this has had on him and you have seen pictures of him smiling more. Have you seen him in public? If you have you would have seen that he stands taller and he is much happier. He talks more. He is a human being.
Am I alone in thinking that this is outrageous? Am I the only one who sees the problem with this? What if we went to the hospital and he actually had more then just a common cold. What would have happened then? What if they refused to treat him because he is transgender? All we did was go in for a COLD!!!! AND THIS IS HOW HE IS TREATED? What if it was more than a cold?!?!
Now, I have a confession to make. This is NOT a true story of Alex. This did NOT happen to Alex. You want to know who is dealing with this type of scenario? A LOT of other transgender people. This happens a lot! It isn’t ok when it is someone you know though huh? I have received SO MANY messages saying things like “I can’t believe people are treating him this way, he is so much happier, can’t they see this”, “I am so happy that Alex was confident and able to express this with you! I am so proud of him.” Then turn around and post and say negative things about someone JUST LIKE ALEX!! How is that ok? How is it ok to be “proud” of my son or that you show “compassion” with my son but not others who have been blasted in the news? How is it “brave” for my son but “stupid” or a “abomination” when you hear about others JUST LIKE ALEX!!
How is it ok to refuse medical treatment because of your religion when you took a Hippocratic oath to TREAT THE ILL TO THE BEST OF ONE’S ABILITY! This happens more then you even know! I have heard this from other transgender people who have went through this scenario. He bleeds like you, he could be your child! He could be you niece or nephew, your brother or sister, he could be anyone in your family! Imagine you saying things like in this story and then later finding out that your child felt like Alex does?
The Trump Administration just scrapped health care protections for LGBT patients. Do you know what that means? There will be more of these stories coming to light! There will be more people in the medical profession to use their religion as an excuse to refuse treatment for people they don’t think fits into their religious box! If this treatment isn’t ok for my son, how is this treatment ok for others? People are people! BE KIND! Show compassion! Stop judging what you do not know!
Trans-Parent 